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Advent and the Desire of Your Heart

By December 10, 20214 Comments
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Advent is a wonderful season given to us by a most tender Mother, the Church, who desires that we not only prepare worthily to commemorate and celebrate the Incarnation, but that we also prepare for the Second Coming of Christ the Victor. It is a time to set aside earthly cares and gently move into silence and reflection on that which is most worthy of our contemplation: union with Jesus and our heavenly home.

No wonder the Devil wreaks havoc with this season. He turns it into a chaotic bedlam of rushing from celebration to celebration, shopping sprees, grocery getting, letter writing, and every other conceivable distraction known to man. Rather than cultivating the interior life, we seem to foster the exterior in a way that resembles vomiting. Even Christmas pageants can become a source of stress as we scramble around the house looking for an appropriate bath robe to clothe our child in so he looks something like a shepherd of old. In the words of my favorite cartoon character, Dr. Seuss’ the Grinch, the season is filled with, “Noise! Noise! Noise!”

As if this pandemonium weren’t enough, the Devil continues his mayhem by convincing the world to see fit to throw out the tree right after December 25th and tear down the decorations and snuff out the lights. His plan is to return us to the routine of the mundane all without ever really paying proper respect to the reason for the season: Jesus. Nothing to see here folks, just carry on as before.

No wonder, as Catholics, our hearts break. Intuitively we know we must fight the noise of the season. Intuitively we know something marvelous and grand approaches us. Intuitively we know that if we blink, we might miss it. And often we do. Christmas comes and goes, and we remain unchanged. The longing in our hearts remains, and in some sense the seasons of Advent and Christmas seem to do nothing but highlight our own pain and brokenness. It can feel like a failure.

What a hopeless, sad, and messy lot we are!

Or are we? St. Augustine, in a discourse on the Psalms, points out that while yes, we might be a mess and sad, we are not hopeless. He teaches that the very fact we recognize our pain and groan to the Lord in our brokenness is a sign that all is not lost. Augustine says, “There is a hidden anguish which is inaudible to men,” and when we go looking for the source of that anguish it can often put us in touch with the deepest desire of our hearts, which, of course, is God. Furthermore, this longing, this authentic experience of pain and sorrow (in not experiencing the fulfillment of this desire), is in itself a beautiful thing, and this for two reasons.

First, St. Augustine assures us that, “If your desire lies open to Him who is your Father and sees you in secret, he will answer you.” Granted, that may not come to fruition in a way that we prefer in this life, but it will come to fruition perfectly if we persevere.

The second reason, according to Augustine, is this, “the desire of your heart is itself prayer. And if the desire is constant, so is your prayer.”

This is beautiful and deserves a pause for consideration. This desire allows us to fulfill the Apostle Paul’s command to pray without ceasing, which of course is difficult to do. St. Augustine acknowledges this. He says, “Are we then to ceaselessly bend our knees, to lie prostrate, or to lift up our hands? Is this what the apostle meant? Even if we admit that we pray in this fashion, I do not believe we can do so all the time.”

No kidding, a guy has to eat, and work for the food that he eats, etc. (Not to mention finding that darn bath robe! Forgive me, I digress.) St. Augustine goes on to say, “Yet there is another, interior kind of prayer without ceasing, namely the desire of your heart. Whatever else you may be doing, if you fix your desire on God’s Sabbath rest, your prayer will be ceaseless. Therefore, if you wish to pray without ceasing, do not cease to desire.”

In other words, this pain, this longing we feel, often brought to the surface of our hearts during what can be a particularly disappointing time of year, should be understood as a good sign. For when we lose this longing, this pain, we not only lose the ability to pray constantly, but it might be a sign that our love too has died. St. Augustine says, “The constancy of your desire will be itself the ceaseless voice of your prayer. And the voice of your prayer will be silent only when your love ceases. The chilling of your love means that the heart is silent: while burning love is the outcry of the heart.”

And so, seen in the light of eternity, this longing—and the corresponding disappointment when the longing remains unfulfilled—is good news. It means we have not died. Our love is very much alive.

So despite whatever troubles, trials, or “Noise! Noise! Noise!” we face this season, and whatever disillusionments we experience, take heart. The pain we experience means we are not dead, and our love is not dead. This is pleasing to the Lord. Best of all, if we long for Him, He will not disappoint.

(All quotes are from A discourse on the psalms by Saint Augustine, Bishop. [In ps 37,13-14:CCL 38, 391-392] as found in the Liturgy of Hours, Advent season, office of readings Third week of Advent, Friday. Catholic Book Publishing Co., N.Y, 1975 p.302-304.)
Anthony Gallegos

Born and raised Catholic (thanks mom and dad!), Anthony Gallegos is a native of Denver, Colorado. He attended the St. John Vianney Theological Seminary and earned a B-Phil from the Pontifical Lateran University in Rome. After successfully discerning that he was not called to the priesthood, Anthony married, began a family and graduated from the Augustine Institute with a Masters in Theological Studies. He has served various parishes in various capacities in the Archdiocese of Denver. He joined the Catholic Catechetical School in 2015 and is glad to be “back home again” working out of the same seminary that started his love of studying and teaching the faith.


  • Kimberly Juge says:

    Anthony, once again timely, profound and spot on with this post! I feel myself yearning for silence, stillness and peace right now amongst the “noise, nose, noise!” As if in lost in a desert, parched and desperately searching for refreshment. Our Lord’s coming, both what was and is to come, urge me in this desire to sit in stillness with Him and drink of His love and mercy. Thank you again and a most blessed Advent to you and yours.

    • Anthony Gallegos says:

      Hello Kimberly,
      You got me to thinking, this thirst you so beautifully speak of, I bet this is similar to the thirst that Jesus spoke about when He hung from the cross. In a beautifully painful way, He thirsts for you and we thirst for Him! Happy Advent!

  • Tom Ariniello says:

    Anthony, thanks for your advent thoughts especially some of the insights offered by St Augustine. It has given me a a new thread of approach to use with my adult children who are not practicing the faith. Even though it has been a year and half since I was last in your class you are still enlightening me. May the joy of Christ’s coming be with you and your family this Christmas!

    • Anthony Gallegos says:

      HI Tom, good to hear from you.
      Your comment reminded me of my time as a youth minister. I had a mentor who, rather than argue with the teens, would often ask them questions about their choices and (sinful) activities. Then she would ask if their choices were fulfilling them. Some, knowing they were trapped, would answer with bravado, but you could see in their eyes the truth of things. My mentor sowed alot of seeds with conversations like this.

      My children are still young, but I wonder if asking adult children if they are fulfilled would bear fruit? What do they long for, what do they thirst for. I bet it will get a conversation going! Let me know what you think and how it goes, maybe we can enlighten each other.

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